Kimberly K. Parker: Process vs. Product: The Joys of the Means to an End

Process vs. Product: The Joys of the Means to an End

Parents are the most goal-minded individuals I have ever encountered. But, of course! We must ensure schedules and plans are in place to help us effectively govern our day-to-day activities. I dare not exhaust the “things-to-do list” filled with household management items, J-O-B deadlines, and children activities. It seems to never cease! Typically, moms and dads wake up with a clear picture of how the day will end…before it begins!

Spontaneity, which is not my “friend”, backed me into a corner one evening as I extended the invitation to play Scrabble® with my son…on a school night! Merely seconds away from hyperventilating after coming to my senses (a school night?), I grabbed the game with haste, removed it from the box, and positioned myself comfortably on my living room floor. My son was thrilled, to say the least. Guardedly he stated, “Momma, but it’s a school night. This is cool!”

Our game commenced and for the next fifteen minutes the flow was quite nice. Suddenly, in the midst thereof, I felt an overwhelming urge to read the rules. I just had to be certain that we were honoring the intentions of its creator precisely. While my objective was to win, attaining victory properly was my true purpose! My son, who was waiting patiently to resume playing, turned to me and said, “Momma, can we please just have fun?”

It does not take much for me to pump my breaks! Such a simple request from one who was in this Scrabble® competition for the sheer love of playing with his Momma! Then, it dawned on me: I was operating with a perfectionist mentality and was missing out on the joys of spending time with him in this manner. I was focused on the product (playing and winning the game as designed) and not the process (the loads of fun I could have with my son).

Once I dropped the paper and pushed it to the side, I was able to relax and have a ball! Now, some of the words we created surely did not exist, but who cared? Sore stomachs, tussling over a letter or two, and praying for a chance to use the letter “Q” filled the remainder of our evening. LOL! What a great, spontaneous, non-hyperventilating moment from that point forward! And, I totally became “one cool Momma!”

I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to share your comments with me. Thank you.

Kimberly K. Parker is an author and blogger living in Maryland with her husband and three children. Visit her website at www.writingmomma.com to read more about her and the work she is doing in her community.

Special Educational Journal

Greetings Engaged Parents and Dedicated Educators,


This is an Educational Journal discussion you do not want to miss. Mothers and daughters are encouraged to participate in this incredible night of conversation.

Parents and PGCPS is proud to announce a special edition of Educational Journal this Wednesday, October 27, 2010 from 7:00pm-8:00pm. This special edition of Educational Journal will focus on African American women.

Our first guest is Shirley Henderson, Associate Editor of Ebony Magazine. In its September edition, Ebony saluted the amazing royalty of African American women with its annual feature of the Campus Queens of HBCUs. Ebony showcased 35 Queens of HBCUs in its Campus Queens Online poll. Ebony wanted to make this a very unique and memorable salute to the Majesties of HBCUs and thus allowed its readers to vote on their favorite queens. In a close, but exciting race, the top ten vote getters were profiled in style with photos taken by celebrity photographer Derek Blanks. What we saw and read was a mosaic of beauty, brains, charisma and hopefulness for the future. Ms. Henderson will share the vision behind her amazing article and the photos of the remarkable Campus Queens of HBCUs with host Michel Davis-Robinson.

In part two of this special educational Journal, we have invited Judge Mary Terrell to discuss the importance of engaging young African American women early with regards to education, life goals and career aspirations. Judge Terrell is an educator and youth advocate. She has spent over 20 years training teachers, administrators and developing educational programs for inner city youth to deter them from the criminal justice system. Her experiences and deep concern for our youth led her to create The High Tea Society, Inc., a non-profit organization for inner city girls ages 9-18 who attend the District of Columbia Public Schools and live in economically challenged communities. The goal of the High Tea Society is to increase the economic and social mobility of inner-city girls from economically disadvantaged areas through exposure to music, literature, poetry, history, career planning, self-esteem workshops, etiquette, and alternative lifestyles. Through various programs, the HTS promotes civility and the development of the social skills needed to be successful in a civil society and in the global community.


Be sure to join us for a remarkable night as we discuss the uniqueness of African American women.

When: October 27, 2010
Time: 8:00pm-9:00pm (EST)
Call in number: 1 (914) 803-4591
Website: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/educationaljournal

Parent Talk

Sunday, October 31, 2010

PARENT TALK

Parent Talk is a weekly radio show for families and members of the community who aspire to become an integral part of their children’s academic success. Parent Talk is hosted by Michael A. Robinson. Parent Talk is a live interactive broadcast, were listeners have the opportunity to call in and ask questions of the host, guest or to simply comment on the topic of the day. Parent Talk can be heard every other Sunday evening from 8:30pm to 9:30pm (EST).

Our guest Ms. Kim Armstrong will talk with us regarding gang violence and education. She will share how a personal tradgey has impacted her life and how she is now empowering other parents to confront violence.

Show Date: October 21, 2010

Show Time: 7:30pm-8:30pm

Call In Number: 1 (914) 803-4591

Website: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/educationaljournal

Kimberly K. Parker Talks About The Chore Challenges

Chore Challenges

Instilling a true sense of responsibility within our children is a goal my husband and I embrace. Initially, I assigned my children the task of cleaning their respective bedrooms. From there, I moved onto other household chores like assistance with the dishes, laundry, lawn, and the bathrooms. Considering the extent of my “to-do” list, I never reject helping hands...no matter how small.

On occasion, my beckoning for assistance was met with resistance. The children quickly asked to be pardoned because, “There’s only five minutes left of the show, Momma!” Then there were times when they reluctantly obliged the request. The deep sighing, overdramatized body language, and slight mumbling clearly indicated that the interruption was inopportune.

Eventually, their frustration was beginning to be met with ours! The lectures (“How many times have we…?”), warnings (“OK! I’m going to conduct a spot check!”), and even idle threats (“You won’t see an after-school dance if...!) were beginning to take its toll. Frankly, I had gotten tired of hearing myself fuss!

Instituting change in my children’s behavior started with changing my behavior. The old adage “If it is to be, it’s up to me!” addresses an often dismissed truth. While it is very easy to point a finger at them, the three fingers pointing back at me reveals who is the most responsible party. So I pondered a way to achieve the results I desired while annihilating the aggravation.

As is my custom, I awaken my family daily. One particular morning, I added a twist: I announced that I had an important announcement to make in thirty minutes. Rapidly, all three children were out of the bed and making their way to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later they were dressed and sitting in their seats asking, “What’s the news, Momma? Tell us!”

I took my time and chose my words carefully in an attempt to build the excitement...and it worked! After side-barring a time or two, I finally said:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Cleanest Bedroom Award is…

With dropping draws and widened eyes, my children looked as if they had seen their favorite TV star! As the winner claimed his token of appreciation, my other two children were positioning themselves to win the next time. But, there was a twist: the next announcement would not be about bedrooms, but another category just as important. This way, they will focus their attention completely on the tasks assigned and work hard to complete them all!

Since that day, I’ve given out the “Initiates Homework” award to the child that does her homework without being asked, “Do you have homework?” and the “Yes, Ma’am” award to the child who responds to my requests without debate. I love the change I see in myself and my children! I have minimized my frustration and they have maximized their accountability.

If you find your situation mirrors mine, consider using this “system”. I sure hope it works for you, too.

Kimberly K. Parker is an author and blogger living in Maryland with her husband and three children. Visit her website at www.writingmomma.com to read more about her and the work she is doing in her community.

Parental Engagement with PGCPS Welcomes Mrs. Kimberly K. Parker as it's First Guest Blogger

Hello Engaged Parents and Dedicated Educators,

Parents and PGCPS is proud to announce the addition of our first guest Blogger, Mrs. Kimberly Kay Parker. Mrs. Parker will share her views on subjects germane to family, community and education. Her blog postings will appear monthly initially, but will soon become a bi-weekly staple for all engaged parents and dedicated educators to read and enjoy. To read Kimberly's work visit Parental Engagement with PGCPS.

BIO

Kimberly is a published author and the owner of Writing Momma Publishing (http://www.writingmomma.com/). She embraces the notion that “writing renews the mind and liberates the soul!” Before Kimberly became an author, she worked as a manager for a very reputable Washington, DC based non-profit organization. With the birth of her first child, she resigned to become a Stay-at-Home Mother and for over nine years she basked in the joy of raising four beautiful children. In 2007, Kimberly returned to the workforce in the field of education. Kimberly is dedicated to a life of service! She understands the importance of charity and models her life accordingly. In 2006, she established the DeBraux Parker Foundation, a non-profit organization on a mission to stimulate, build, and sustain a diverse community of young writers who find commonalities in a shared passion for ideas. Kimberly is married to Reverend Kenneth Anthony Parker who, she attests, "...is the epitome of beauty and compliments my life beautifully." Together, they lovingly nurture and train their four children: Bricen Anthony, Khalil DeBraux, Kalonji Ameer, and Kalani Kay, who are all gifts from God!